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Change

Journal Entry: Sun Feb 24, 2008, 9:19 PM
When there is a change, inevitably there must come with it a level of growth, with this growth small pieces of wisdom enter the scene. I'm sure most of you have heard the saying 'the more you know, the more you don't want to know'- for me this was entirely true, because for me, when you know the truth you know what to do. I have gone through some very serious, very hard, very trying, changes. Some of my former friends felt these changes too extreme and placed an unfair judgement on my life. No human knows my life better than I do, so let me say this; I am bold, I am strong, I am smart, and I am tactful enough to make my choices by myself. My true friends will show themselves to be friends, and those who are unable to handle me can keep it moving.

Now, with all the things I am, there are many that I am not... I am not perfect, I am not the most computer savvy, I am not judgemental, and I am not going to move backwards spiritually.

I will be adding new work soon, and keeping the old. You see, I was lost in a sea of nothingness, consumed by wordly things, confused about the absolute truth, and nearly dead on the inside. I have been broken too many times to claim a single "rock bottom" moment in my life, and somehow through all my garbage, Jesus found His way to me, then let me walk with Him. He picked me up, dusted me off, and reminded me that peace isn't about things working to what I think the best way should be, it is more about understanding that in the middle of the worst storm He is in control of everything.

I have gone through too many changes to put in one little posting, so I will limit this to the main things. I have been saved, I am a Christian, I will strive to be Christ-like in all my ways..... and I have submitted my will to His, because God's will is the only correct will. I am no longer submitting to the fleshly desires of a homosexual lifestyle. I am engaged to a very nice man, and will marry him November 3rd of this year.

a former associate recently told me that she couldn't agree with me killing off such an essential piece of who i was (she said who i am, meaning who she knew me to be). she couldn't get on board with the whole thing, and repeatedly made comments and expressed disapproval... i told her she wasn't someone i needed in my life, and i meant it with every fiber of my being.

I must die of myself, pick up my cross, and follow Jesus.
I will die of myself, pick up my cross and follow Jesus.
I am dying of myself, picking up my cross, and following Jesus.
I can't see this life, my spirit, or this world working without Jesus.
His name is so precious
His word is truth
His death brought life
His will be done
my God has saved me
my God has built me up
my God has protected me
my God has loved me
He has claimed me
He has ordained me
He will not ever fail me
He is the great I AM
I must die of myself, pick up my cross, and follow Jesus
I will die of myself, pick up my cross, and follow Jesus
I am dying of myself, picking up my cross, and following Jesus
I can't see this life, my spirit, or this world, working without Jesus


so i am not 100 percent sure about how to change my user name and things, but i will figure it out.


i am a new creation

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 25
  • Current Residence: slipping in and out of sanity
  • Interests: poetry, drawing, hiking, photography, equal rights.. and melissa etheridge!!!
  • Favourite movie: a beautiful mind is one of them
  • Favourite genre of music: anything fabulous
  • Favourite poet or writer: edgar allen poe and maya angelou
  • Personal Quote: opportunities are often disguised as hard work...which is why most go unnoticed

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

*YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe: Jul 15, 2008, 12:30:01 PM
thank you very much

I'll be checking out your gallery
as well

xo!

--
interested in collaborating?
writer, photographer, painter, whatever(er) -
I'll mix with words with anything you've got.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Jul 14, 2008, 9:53:59 PM
Nope. I was gay... for a very long time, but Jesus came in and changed all that around. it's hard to explain
~puppy-lover1312:iconpuppy-lover1312: Jul 1, 2008, 7:24:50 AM
yesss!writing down..
you`re gay?
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Jun 30, 2008, 6:03:06 PM
writing down what exactly?
~gruntie0052:icongruntie0052: Jun 29, 2008, 8:44:07 PM Mood: Love
You poems really touch me. You deserve a watch!

--
If I said I was a middle aged man, would you believe me? 0_o
~puppy-lover1312:iconpuppy-lover1312: Jun 23, 2008, 11:25:46 PM
i thank you for writing down that
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Jun 16, 2008, 9:44:33 PM
Well glad to be of service. Thanks for the feedback.
~agkelos-antikrizo:iconagkelos-antikrizo: May 28, 2008, 6:12:49 AM
you write some awesome poems which mean and have helped me alot thanks for sharing them :salute:

--
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
=mrcool256:iconmrcool256: Apr 13, 2008, 6:45:04 PM
Thanks so much for the support, it means a lot to me. :)

--
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."- Mark Twain

Advice: Click below!
Coolness
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Mar 30, 2008, 8:45:30 PM
it's cool.... most folks misunderstand me.
~poserchick:iconposerchick: Mar 12, 2008, 1:47:39 PM
ok... well sorry that i misunderstood you

--
~PoserChick
Im a self proclaimed nobody special.
Never forget those who inspire.
I will call you later...I gutta go feed my banana!
Laura has magic peeing skills.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Mar 11, 2008, 8:39:36 PM
I guess you could say every moment lead to the moment...
The actual act of submitting myself to the Most High God whose name is Jesus... is really a rather long story... it took a couple of years , and that was AFTER coming to understand the truth. maybe I will write about it.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Mar 11, 2008, 8:33:26 PM
the change, for me... wasn't sudden. it took years.
~the-cottage-life:iconthe-cottage-life: Mar 10, 2008, 9:09:26 AM
thank you.
how did you come to your new faith? was there a particular moment in your life that pointed you in the direction of god?

--
i don't wear anything i can't wipe my hands on
-- ani
~poserchick:iconposerchick: Mar 8, 2008, 8:04:51 PM
I dont have any questions... and i was just wondering why you all of a sudden had a change of heart... thats all...

--
~PoserChick
Im a self proclaimed nobody special.
Never forget those who inspire.
I will call you later...I gutta go feed my banana!
Laura has magic peeing skills.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Mar 7, 2008, 7:23:40 PM
Well with all due respect... I never refered to your beliefs as B.S., so I will be happy to discus any questions you have in an intellectually stimulating conversation... however, I will not entertain conversations that are judgemental, degrading, or disrespectful. As long as you are ok with that, it's cool.
~poserchick:iconposerchick: Mar 6, 2008, 2:43:31 PM
i am trying my hardest not to disrespect your god, or what you believe... i was just voices my opinion... im sorry if i disrespected u in any way with what i say...

--
~PoserChick
Im a self proclaimed nobody special.
Never forget those who inspire.
I will call you later...I gutta go feed my banana!
Laura has magic peeing skills.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Mar 5, 2008, 9:15:23 PM
Clearly you don't know my Jesus. He can do anything! And I will aprreciate you not disrespecting Him.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Mar 5, 2008, 9:13:32 PM
cool. I've a new dog too... his name is Jacob. Tika kept Cheyenne, she has a nice big yard for her to run around in. Thanks for being happy I'm happy... Jesus did some very powerful things for me, and I shall forever be thankful.

I'm glad to hear you and your significant other are happy.
~LolaIceCream:iconLolaIceCream: Mar 4, 2008, 12:41:10 PM
Your poems are wonderful!

--
You can't say something is bad when you haven't even tried it.
~poserchick:iconposerchick: Mar 3, 2008, 7:22:47 PM
im not trying to say anything about ur new found religiousness... but personally that think that is bull shit... but i am happy that u found what make you happy

--
~PoserChick
Im a self proclaimed nobody special.
Never forget those who inspire.
I will call you later...I gutta go feed my banana!
Laura has magic peeing skills.
~the-cottage-life:iconthe-cottage-life: Mar 3, 2008, 5:38:28 PM
Once in a blue moon I'll log in to see what's been posted. I'm more of a facebook addict now. Admittedly you have clearly changed your perspective on life. All I wish for you is happiness and inner peace from the turmoil you had once experienced. I'm very happy for you. Myself I'm very happy. Back in my home town, live with my spouse and my dog- a male black lab named Kitty. I enjoy my job and all in all life is good.

--
i don't wear anything i can't wipe my hands on
-- ani
!amyperticone:iconamyperticone: Mar 1, 2008, 2:01:19 AM
Wow! You really are a brilliant poet, aren't you?

Why don't you join the poetry contest from [link] ?


It's free and every nitwit such as myself who enters gets a small gift

but someone like you might win one of their $10 000 or $100 000 prizes.
~lesbica:iconlesbica: Feb 29, 2008, 9:45:19 PM
hey lady!!! I didn't know you were still on here!! How are you? How have you been? What have you been up to?